what you focus on you create more of
I am the absolute worst at "shoulding" all over myself.
I should write her a thank you note.
I should write a new blog post today.
I should use this time wisely and get ahead on my work.
I should get to bed earlier.
I should call my mom.
I should talk to my boss.
I should make that phone call.
I should have that conversation today.
Our intentions can be the purest of pure, but if we don't take action on them, they are worthless. They are just a bunch of nice words hanging around in your head or on a post-it or on a pretty quote card.
We must have a bias toward action regarding our intentions and in all we do. We cannot simply think ourselves happier, healthier, wealthier, into a better relationship or better job.
I challenge you to join me in turning our shoulds into musts.
Why do we should ourselves to death and neglect to follow through? I think it is because we are afraid. We are afraid for so many reasons. We are afraid to succeed, and we are afraid to fail. We are afraid of what “they” will say about us. We are afraid to be vulnerable. We are afraid we aren’t good enough. We are afraid we won't know the next right step.
What if we turned the feeling of fear inside out and really looked at it? What does it feel like in your body when you are afraid? What is the actual sensation? Where do you feel it? Try to put it into words.
I feel fear in the pit of my stomach. It is hard to explain but it is kind of like the feeling when you are on an amusement ride and your stomach kind of drops—kind of like the bottom has fallen away under my feet. Sometimes I get butterflies when I am scared, and sometimes my ears ring a little. I even get a little twitch in my eye on occasion.
We all get similar feelings from time to time. Here is something to think about: What if that feeling isn’t fear at all? What if we could redefine it as excitement, encouragement, fuel, fire, or motivation? What if we took it as a sign that we are alive and that we are headed in the right direction?
Think about it. Things that don’t give us that feeling are not the things we are going to be recollecting when we are old ladies. No. We are going to remember the things that made us feel—the things that woke us up and reminded us we are alive. We are going to remember the times when we were scared and did things anyway. Those are the stories that we are going to look back and be proud about.
Take bold action. Take risks. Turn your shoulds to musts. Turn your fear into energy to propel you forward. Turn it into excitement. Use it as a sign that you are headed in the right direction.
Let me know how it goes.
About the Author
Kim is a personal trainer, nutrition coach, and group fitness instructor. She is a mom of two grown kiddos, and a former elementary school teacher. Most days, she can be found training clients, prepping food, thinking about food, or writing about food. She is also obsessed with mindset and habits. She is a 9w1 on the enneagram.