what you focus on you create more of
Jen Sincero
5/19/2020 0 Comments word playI love words. I always have. I love reading them, and sometimes I love writing them. (That part is much more of a struggle!)
Words are powerful. They can lift us up, or they can tear us down. They can makes us laugh or they can stun us into silence with their beauty. Words can hurt or heal. I was well into adulthood before I realized that I had words playing in a loop in my brain in the background of my life 24/7. We all do. Perfectly normal. When I began to notice my inner dialogue, however, I realized it wasn't always helpful or kind. In fact, most of the time I was saying things to myself that I would never say to anyone else. Can you relate? Most women I have spoken with share that they have the same "inner mean girl" wreaking havoc in their minds as well. There is such good news about this! Once we realize we have these thoughts that aren't serving us, we can change them! It's not easy, but it's possible. The first step is to notice the inner dialogue, or conversation you are having with yourself. Most of the time it's coming from a place of fear. It comes from the part of the brain that is responsible for keeping you safe. When you notice a negative thought pattern, ask yourself "Is this absolutely true?" Chances are it's not. Then you can change the thought to something that still feels real and authentic to you, but is better for you. You get to change the words, which changes the feeling. For example, "I can't do it," becomes "I can't do it yet, but give me time to practice." OR "I am not good enough" becomes "I am just as capable as anyone else, given the right tools and resources." OR "What if I fail?" becomes "What if I succeed?" I know I am oversimplifying it, but I challenge you to notice the words you use when you talk to yourself. If they are not serving you, examine them for validity. You will most likely find a loophole. Then find a way to reword the thought so that it lifts you up instead of tearing you down. See how that changes your mindset. It's all about the words. Use their power for good. ❤
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5/19/2020 0 Comments what if?Two very powerful words. One mighty question. When you ask yourself What if? what immediately comes to mind? Do you think of all the things that could go right? Or all the things that could go wrong? Your answer lets you know if you lean towards a fixed mindset or a growth mindset. This "What if" holds us back in so many areas of our lives if we let it. In parenting, in business, in relationships, in all aspects. What if I fail? What if they don't like it? What if they think it's silly? What if I lose money? What if it doesn't turn out the way I planned? What if I fall down? What if I am embarrassed? What if we ask different questions? How would that change our lives? These What If questions could serve us in a much healthier, productive way: What if it works? What if they like it? What if they think it's interesting? What if it makes money? What if it turns out just the way it's supposed to turn out? What if it's a success? It's up to us. We get to choose which questions we ask and how we react to the answers. We get to choose to shy away from challenges or embrace them. We are free to choose our reaction to failure. We get to choose to give up easily or to persevere. How cool is that?! We get to choose! It may seem like a small shift in mindset, but it is enough to change your life. 💗 5/12/2020 0 Comments create.I have noticed something about myself during these last couple of months of quarantine. At the end of the day, I find that I am the happiest if I have created something. I am not an artist, by any means, but creativity doesn't have to be that formal. Creativity is whatever you want it to be-- cooking, baking, making your yard pretty, rearranging a room, organizing, redecorating, flower arranging, coloring, making a digital book on a site like Shutterfly, creating and sending things like Jib Jabs, building, hand lettering your favorite quotes, or making videos on TikTok. It is anything that puts you into a state of "flow." I am sure you have been in this state before. It is that feeling you get when you are so completely engrossed in your work that hours go by and you don't even realize it. You know the feeling, your stomach is empty and your bladder is full because you have ignored your basic needs in favor of the feeling you get from whatever project you are working on. It turns our there is research that supports that doing creative things does, in fact, make you happier and healthier. Being in the state of flow lowers your heart rate, decreases anxiety, and boosts your mood. It can even pump up your immunity and help with dementia. What? No wonder I have been feeling better on the days I do something creative! If you don't consider yourself an artist with a capital A, but would like to try to make creativity a habit, check this article from NPR out. And then go create something! 😊 5/4/2020 0 Comments Pobody's NerfectRemember this little phrase? It used to be on magnets, buttons, and bumper stickers when I was a kid. It popped into my mind because I was pondering people say things like, "I've been bad today" when they talk about what they have been eating. Or "I was really good all day, but then I ruined it after dinner by eating 3 cookies." This constant struggle for perfection is one of the reasons people don't stick with a healthy diet. Food is information. Food is fuel. Food is not good or bad, just like we are not good or bad because of what we eat or what we don't eat. If we can move away from thinking like that, then we are on our way to a healthier mindset and healthier habits. What if we simply concentrated on nourishing food 80% of the time and allowed for less healthy food (in modest portions) the other 20% of the time? What if we ate real, whole, less-processed foods most of the time and allowed ourselves a treat every once in a while? I guarantee you would feel better, have more energy, and enjoy life more because of the quality of the food you were eating. In addition, your mind wouldn't be bogged down with good vs bad and the herculean effort of chasing perfection. Perfect is unobtainable. Perfect compared to what? There is no such thing as perfect. Instead of trying to be perfect, concentrate instead on progress. Progress is eating the vegetables at each meal even when you'd rather have something else. Progress is doing so each day, with consistency. The more progress you make, the better you will feel, and the less you will be worried about being perfect. Pobody's Nerfect. 4/28/2020 0 Comments there i am
4/26/2020 0 Comments what brings you joy?I have been struggling about what to write or post here and on Facebook and Instagram. My usual quotes and food and exercise tips just seemed to be too small, too insignificant, too unimportant compared to what's going on in the world right now. So I have stayed under the radar, contemplating and wondering for the last month and a half.
But here's the thing: We are not going back to "normal." Even when we all begin to come out of our homes and get together and convene in larger groups, it isn't going to be the way it was. We will have a "new normal," and I am not sure exactly when that's going to happen. So I have decided that I am going to do what brings me joy in this moment, and that is to spread the good word of health, wellness, self-love, and self-acceptance. I declare this day as the day I start again. Even though I am still at home, I come back out into the light and onto the interwebs to pick up where I left off. I encourage you to do the same thing. Get back in touch with the things that bring you joy. In fact, right now, take a few minutes and make a list of at least 10 things that bring you joy. Put it on your fridge or your bathroom mirror, and try to do one small thing from the list each day. Even though you may feel kind of guilty doing something joyful during this crazy time of sadness and uncertainty, remind yourself that there is room in our hearts and in our lives to hold space for sadness and joy. It's all part of life, and it's okay to open ourselves up to feel it all. Here is an example of things that are on my joy list: extra time reading sitting on the back deck listening to music Facetiming my favorite people taking walks taking a nap listening to an Audiobook or podcast doing something creative writing a note to someone texting or Snapchatting favorite people tiny home improvement projects (like really tiny-- like organizing a drawer) Here is a great article if you are interested in learning more about all the "feels." Cheers to a little joy, and a new normal. ❤ 4/4/2020 2 Comments generosityThis quote from Queen Brene' Brown has been sitting on my counter since December-- mostly because it took so long to string together all the letters. 🤣 But also because it is something I need to be reminded of on a regular basis, especially these days. Being separated from each other yet still trying to stay connected through social media, text, FaceTime, Zoom, and phone calls, there is a lot of room for error. It is easy to perceive a comment in a different way it was intended. If we can adopt this mindset of "I am going to assume he or she had the best intentions, even though it doesn't feel that way," we relieve ourselves of the stress and the burden that we may have put upon ourselves otherwise. It really and truly is a game changer. I had an interesting experience with this about a month ago-- we were taking a walk and came upon a man in front of a church doing some weeding. I happily greeted him, and he merely grunted a "hello" in my general direction. "Man, if I was interested in visiting that church, and that was my first impression of the people who go there, I may just change my mind," I snapped aloud. My husband quickly paraphrased Queen Brene's quote back to me. First of all, I was surprised and impressed that he paid any attention to what I put on that board. Secondly, I was humbled and ashamed of my reaction. Bruce continued by saying, "You don't know-- he could have just lost his wife or maybe he is not feeling well." I quickly changed my tune and made a mental note to be more mindful. The kindness that I then felt for the stranger felt different in my own body and mind than when I was grouching about his lack of manners. In extending generosity for him, I was doing myself a favor as well. It's cool how it works that way. And guess what-- even if he had intended it in the way that I perceived it, I still have the option to extend him this generosity and and it still feels good in my body. It's a win-win no matter what. The next time you feel yourself "bowin' up" as they say down here, take a deep breath and extend the most generous interpretation of the other person's actions, words and intentions. I promise it feels good. ❤ 3/31/2020 0 Comments do somethingHey there! How are you holding up during these trying times? I have had a lot of extra time to think recently. I have been thinking a lot lately about the future. There are two futures on my mind-- the first is the short-term one. The one in which my quarantine will be over, I will be gallivanting all over the place, and I can hug on the people I have been missing. The other future is the one a little further down the line. The one in which I get to be a mother-in-law and maybe even a grandma. I have always said that I want to be there for our kids as they have their own families-- I want to be the fun grandma that calls and offers to take the kids for the weekend. I see myself baking, reading, playing outside, going on walks, and building with Legos with them. I envision being strong and fit enough to keep up with them. That's the vision for "future Kim," but what I do today-- even in quaratine-- and each day up to that point either puts me closer to that goal or further away. I don't always do a stellar job, but when I keep my goal for my future in mind, I am more compelled to make the choices to help get me there. On this day-- the 15th day of my quarantine, I must envision the future Kim when I feel like being a slug, or when I feel myself gravitating toward the kitchen looking for some comfort food. Being there to help my kids as they build their lives and eventually have kids is my why. I have to hold onto that. Stop for a moment and envision the best version of yourself in ten years. Are you still at your current job? What do you do in your leisure time? What do you eat? How do you spend your days? Where do you live? What are your relationships like? Are you active? Fit? Healthy? I bet the future you is active, fit, and healthy. Who would want to envision the best version of themselves as something other than that? No matter what you would like your job to be in ten years, or what home you live in, or what you do in your leisure time, you want to be comfortable in your own skin. You want to be energetic, confident, and happy. Do something today that your future self will thank you for. Do something so that when life goes back to normal-- because it will-- your future self will thank you for taking care of her. It doesn't have to be something big. Starting small is key. Choose an action that you can repeat until it becomes habit and then you can build upon it. Here are some examples:
These are strange times, but we have to stay focused on the bigger picture. We have to have a vision of who we want to be when this thing is over as well as who we want to be 10 years from now. Both versions are counting on us to do something nice for them today. ❤ 2/20/2020 0 Comments food affects moodHey there! How's it going? When was the last time you felt like that?👉🏽 (Even if I did feel like that, I don't think I could get that far off the ground to show it. LOL) No matter what mood you are in as you read this, the food you have been eating has something to do with it. Just as the food you eat can change your weight, it also changes the structure and function of your organs-- including your brain. And the state of your brain directly affects your mood. There is a relatively young (around 10 years old) field of study called Nutritional Psychiatry that aims to help folks manage their mental state through nutritional changes. Food affects mood. It rhymes, therefore it is true. 🤣 _______ Serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps regulate sleep and appetite, mediate moods, and inhibit pain. Since about 95% of your serotonin is produced in your gastrointestinal tract, and your gastrointestinal tract is lined with a hundred million nerve cells, or neurons, it makes sense that the inner workings of your digestive system don’t just help you digest food, but also guide your emotions. _______ Long story short- pay attention to how food makes you feel. If you have been crabby or lethargic for what seems like no reason, think about what you have been eating. Consider cutting back on the sugar and the processed foods to see if you notice a difference. Cheers to a good mood! 11/15/2019 0 Comments #blessedYou hear about gratitude a lot this time of year. The holidays are a traditional time to take stock of our lives, what we have accomplished this year, and the things for which we are thankful. There is a growing body of research that suggests that we should be making a concentrated effort to make gratitude a daily habit throughout the year. The simple act of noticing small things during each day and then perhaps noting them at the end of the day- in your mind or on paper, helps us to feel more joyful. We train the brain to look for the positive, which then makes us feel more positive. The things you notice don't have to be big things. In fact, it's just the opposite. If you can be joyful about the minutia in life, then the big wins are simply icing on the cake. For example, I squeezed a mammogram into my schedule yesterday. (Pun intended.😂) I wasn't really looking forward to it, but I walked into that office with a spring in my step and made a conscious effort to notice the little things. I made conversation with the young woman that checked me in-- I noted how nice it was to learn a little about her, and how sweet it was of her to engage in conversation the way she did. I was given the opportunity to choose whether I wanted the 3D imagery, which insurance covered. I was reminded at that moment of how fortunate I am to have insurance at all. The technician that did the mammography was informative and kind. I was thankful that it didn't take long at all to get it done, and that I was back in my car in about 30 minutes, start to finish. Because I was ahead of schedule, I was able to stop at the Starbucks downtown and grab a coffee before I taught class. (I even had a couple of bucks in my wallet, which hardly ever happens.) I knew the barista, and the chat I had with him made me smile. The short time I was able to sit in that comfy chair and enjoy my coffee was perfect. Those were just a few of the things I wrote in my journal this morning. Honestly, there are days when I have to dig deep to find the little things to write down, but that's a good thing. It keeps the search alive and in the forefront of my brain. There are actual physical and mental benefits of practicing gratitude, including better sleep, enhanced mood and impulse control, improved relationships, lessened anxiety, and better cardiac health. I challenge you to play around with a gratitude practice in the next week--jot down 5-10 things for which you are grateful at the end or beginning of each day. Notice how it changes your mood, mindset, energy, and stress level. |
About the AuthorKim is a personal trainer, nutrition coach, and group fitness instructor. She is a mom of two grown kiddos, and a former elementary school teacher. Most days, she can be found training clients, prepping food, thinking about food, or writing about food. She is also obsessed with mindset and habits. She is a 9w1 on the enneagram. Archives
February 2021
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